Devastated. Disappointed. Gutted. Sad. These are some of the many words Emma Wiggs used to describe what she felt as she made the difficult decision not to compete internationally this year.
Winning her third successive Paralympic title at Paris 2024, she was instrumental in Great Britain finishing top of the medals table in Paracanoe with four golds and four silvers.
But little did people know the pain she was in, as she powered through at the Vaires-sur-Marne Nautical Stadium.
Struggling with a shoulder injury for 18 months leading into the Paralympic Games, a specialist confirmed in March last year that Wiggs would require surgery.
However, with the Games only a few months away, the multiple world champion, as hard as nails, decided to wait until after the quadrennial event.
“It was difficult going into the Games knowing we would have to adapt so much of our training from March. For example, I had to take out all my bench press and some hard physical work on the water to try and manage the shoulder condition,” Wiggs said.
“So, it was a very different experience to line up in Paris, knowing I hadn't done everything I'd wanted to, but I'd done everything I could have, given the situation.”
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After adding a KL2 silver to her VL2 gold in France, Wiggs finally went under the knife in October to take away some of the bone in the shoulder.
While the operation was successful, recovery took longer than expected, leading the 44-year-old to make the tough call to sit out the 2025 international season.
“It's a bit of a challenging year for me, with only being back on the water recently, we've decided not to race at all internationally this year,” she said.
“Whilst we were having conversations about my chances of racing this year, it suddenly felt reassuring to hear that Lisa Carrington was also having a break from international racing. If the greatest of all time can do it, then surely, we can too!”
Back in training six days a week, Wiggs thanked Paddle UK, UK Sports Institute, physio Charlie Wade, and strength and conditioning coach Matt Abel for their support.
She is also grateful to her family, who stepped up when she needed them the most, especially her wife, mother and mother-in-law, who had been tag-teaming care duties.
Despite being a high-performance star, Wiggs also highlighted the power of sport and the Paracanoe community as she navigates choppy waters.
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To have competitors who are involved in fierce battles to be each other's biggest advocates off the water and to have friends and paddlers from across the world supporting her has been special.
“Brianna Hennesey from Canada is in touch, checking in with the rehab. Susan Seipel from Australia has been in touch. My teammates from GB obviously, and particularly my roommate Jeanette Chippington were a huge part of this journey. I think it's the real strength of Paracanoe — friends before competitors,” she said.
“We race hard, but there is mutual respect and acknowledgement of how amazing our sport is for defying the limitations that other people might see.”
But deep down, it has been challenging to get her head around the fact that 2025 will not be the same.
“At the minute, it is not about doing more than ever or doing it harder than I've ever done. It's about being clever about what training we're doing,” she continued.
“I've been doing this sport since 2013, and I've never missed an international season. It feels like a real loss to sit here and acknowledge that we're not ready to race. But equally, I'm seeing this as an unusual and valuable opportunity.”
That elite mentality is what separates her from the rest, with Wiggs choosing to focus on the bigger goal, such as LA28, where she will be 47 years old.
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Exploring her options, she has been chatting with athletes from other sports to see how they've changed their training as they've got older.
Wiggs is curious to know how doing things differently can benefit her and add to her medal-winning longevity.
“I would do anything to be lining up with my teammates, but the sensible decision is to focus on getting selected for LA28. We will look at some new ideas and training strategies,” she said.
“It's easy to get stuck in the same way of doing things, and I think, particularly for me, I'm very fortunate that we've been successful every year since I started, which is down to the staff that we work with. Clearly, it's worked, but if I want to try and get to LA, I need to do things differently and find a way of doing things to protect the shoulders, but hopefully also make the boats go faster.”
While embracing change and hoping that Wiggs version 2.0 will be better than Wiggs version 1.0, one change that has been a bitter pill to swallow was the departure of coach Brendan Purcell.
Despite working together for only 18 months, it was the most impactful experience she has had, working with a coach.
“It was super sad to see Brendan go after Paris, but I've got a book with all my learnings from him, and I refer to that daily. I'm hopeful that we can come out of this in better shape.
“Paris was an incredible moment for me as an athlete, but also for us as a partnership, and I was chuffed to be able to deliver those medals for the team.
“I learnt a huge amount from him in a short time. That's why it felt like a loss, but I'm chuffed for him and he’s doing great things in Australia. As soon as I found out he was going, I got out this notebook, and I said to him, 'This is my book of Brendan'.
“Every day, I scribbled stuff down in it that was his knowledge and insights and his understanding of me. He just understood me, unlike any other coach, I think. And that's an incredible gift to be able to do that. So, I'm fortunate to have had that experience, and I'm trying to be a bit more Brendan every day in this new landscape.”
That said, Emma is thrilled to be working with Steve Train, a legend of canoeing and Paracanoe, and is looking forward to what they can achieve together.
The biggest learning for the paracanoeist over the years was to respond rather than react, depending on the context.
In doing so, Wiggs feels she can make better use of her connections to help herself.
There is a strong desire to find balance in everything she does these days, now that her timetable is a bit flexible.
Known for her work outside sport, Wiggs hopes to use the time available to explore other skillsets.
“There is real magic in balance. I do executive coaching to help people elevate their performance. I work with corporate clients, trying to spread the learnings I think have added value to me and help them unleash their potential. I am looking to maximise all those opportunities,” she said.
“I'm going to be working with the ICF on the commentary team, hopefully at the World Cup in Poznan and the World Championships in Milan. So, I'm hopeful that there'd be some value that I can add to the sport and give back. In a big competition, normally I would be selfishly focused on myself and my performance. Now, we're in conversation around how I can add some value to a sport that has ultimately changed my life, so I'm excited about that.”
With a bit more breathing space, Wiggs is also hoping to nurture herself as a person and catch up with family.
She has realised that not everything needs to be regimented, having pushed herself at the highest level for so long.
“I am trying to use this time to be a bit more balanced and do things I usually wouldn’t do. We even went to a friend's wedding anniversary party the other weekend and I am sure we will go out for brunch a lot more. But I'm hoping that a slightly more relaxed Emma will also make the boat go faster,” she said.
At the same time, she does not see it as a sacrifice to succeed at the top but rather as a choice.
And despite the rhythm of rehab being different, that fire to win is still burning bright.
“If we can see something as a choice rather than a sacrifice, it's immediately more positive. I see it as a choice. Everything that we do, from the outside, it can look obsessive. I don't drink. I don't eat bad food. I go to bed at 8:00, etc. It's ridiculously obsessive and boring, but I see that as a choice,” she said.
“I'm so proud of our sport. We do put on a show, and I'm excited to see the sport grow and hopefully, in LA, have even more races and participation to put our mark on the map.
“Whilst I'm disappointed to not be on those start lines this year, I am unbelievably excited to see what everyone's been up to and then rejoin them next year as Emma version two. So yeah, fingers crossed, watch out, and I'll be back.”
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